1) No one has any idea what is going on. There is no “end goal.” Everyone is struggling down one path or another, hoping there is a light at the end of a tunnel.

2) That includes parents. They are just as hopeless as children. Do remember to forgive them when possible. Like everyone, they have ribcages that swell with fears and anxieties and hope.

3) People are temporary, especially now. When someone is permanent, you’ll know. Don’t waste time or energy hanging on to people who do not belong in your universe.

4) That’s not to say relationships are effortless. Any relationship requires a great amount of effort. By that I mean - listen. Listening is the best thing you will ever do for someone.

5) When you feel it is time to speak, think carefully. Do not spend your precious, wonderful breath on words that do not mean exactly what you want to say.

6) If you get used to sleeping in bed with someone, you will feel their touch the first night you sleep alone. That feeling will go away, and then their smell fades from your pillowcase, and then their face becomes a fuzzy memory. The way your heart flutters when you visit a memory? That takes longer.

7) It is not your place to change someone. If you want to try, know it might change you.

8) If he can fuck you well and make you laugh, he is good for the summer. But if he can’t talk about your favorite book, and if his eyes glaze over when you talk about your day, make sure you lose his number when the calendar switches to September.

9) There will absolutely be times when getting out of bed is so staggeringly difficult, it seems as though the world will collapse around you when your feet hit the ground. It is okay if that fear is insurmountable for today. Try again tomorrow.

10) If you still cannot get out of bed after a week (or can get out of bed, but cannot live), talk to someone. Often times, wallowing will fix chasms in your heart and soul. Often times, it won’t. It’s okay to ask for help.

11) His arms around you will not save you from yourself. Remember you were born to build magnificent things, and you cannot do it with your hands pinned to your sides.


things i learned the summer before i turned 20 - n.m. (via thegirlwithfernweh)

(via pinkfl4mingo)